My 10

We all need a little break…

10 Reasons animals don’t shop online:

  1. Stuck on shopping: With bears getting honey all over the keyboard they’re always getting the keys stuck and adding more items than they can afford. Bears have had their caves repossessed in extreme cases.
  2. Card security: Goldfish are always losing their credit cards. Writing their card info on the side of their tank with a Sharpie worked ok for awhile, but they always forget what the numbers mean.
  3. Not that eee-sy: Monkeys quit buying remotely altogether after their early issues with making orders by phone. Everything was getting delivered to apartment Eee! on street Eee! in the Al Eee-eee! part of town.
  4. Speedy Delivery: It was always going to be a tough one for turtles. They’d have to start for the door from the moment they placed their order if they ever hoped to catch the courier.
  5. Dog empathy: Dogs quickly started to empathize with goldfish. By the time they found where they had buried their credit card and the computer, they’d found 3 bones and they’d forgot what they had planned to buy.
  6. Egrets regret: It only takes one mistake, and the first Egret that brought their laptop into the pond was a lesson for everyone: ponds and power don’t mix.
  7. No-Ink Oryx: The crafty Oryx may have adapted to conserve water, but printing vouchers bought online requires that they conserve some printer ink too. They’ll learn that one with a few thousand more years of evolution.
  8. Who you callin’ Dhub?: Since this spiny-tailed lizard is happy to share its burrow, the wily hedgehog is always ‘hogging’ the computer without a moments’ rest for the dhub to buy anything.
  9. Snakes in a mall: Sure buying online helps you avoid crowds, but you try telling a snake who loves sending people running in fear that it’s better to buy online and avoid the throngs.
  10. Cats Meow: Cats invented online ordering and are the exception since they love the fact that they can lounge around all day, speak to no one, and get everything they want handed to them.

Can you do better? Add your “reasons” in the your comments.

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